Tuesday, October 7, 2014

In an Argument Both Parties are Right till Somebody Wins (This post will most likely, definitely make you a better human being who get's laid constantly)

Like all great epiphanies; from the discovery that fire makes meat taste better to the realization that gravity is a thing, this one came to me after I tried being a smartass in a Facebook comment.

To give you the brief summary:
 The original status post posed the question of who would win in a match between a UFC fighter and all other professional fighters at the same time. My rebuttal was that the question was like asking who would win in a Rock, Paper, Scissors game between paper and all of the above, including paper (since UFC fighters are also technically professional fighters, at least the ones who get paid). This was then met with a brilliant counter argument that since UFC fighters were objectively so much better that all other professional fighters it’s more like a huge, super hard rock (let’s say a corundum boulder) vs scissors, paper and a bunch of smaller tinier rocks (talcum powder). I then admitted defeat and pointed out that the conversation had been a lot like an RPS duel itself and that I was surely not the victor… or was I?

That’s the thing about debates and opinions. No one side is right till they manage to objectively defeat their opponent in a verbal bout of Rock, Paper, Scissors. You keep throwing opinions at each other that you passionately believe in, in an attempt to eventually provide one that trumps your opponent therefore convincing them and everyone in the auditorium, courtyard or party that you believed the thing that is cold hard truth all along whereas your opponent is a predictable idiot who probably still believes in Santa Clause. It’s a rudimentary comparison but in essence it’s perfect.

So next time you have a heated argument with someone. Instead of getting angry, ignoring what they say or repeating the same beat down old point. Look at the whole thing like a game of RPS and think strategically about how to win. After all no one’s ever won an RPS duel by throwing rock repeatedly all over their opponent’s paper and face while yelling “I win!”… oh wait that’s probably how the first fight started… food for thought.  

Oh and here’s a little tip if you ever lose. Calling “Best out of three!” right afterwards is a valid and universally acceptable way to graciously admit loss of the battle without conceding the war. 

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